Why? - am i sometimes uncomfortable using English

not in the written form though. i'm talking about oral communications right here.

sometimes, i simply am really awkward speaking english. yes, i know what you're going to hatch up in your mind "BUT BUT URE LYK GR8 @ ENG HOW CN U BE UNCMFY LOL"

well firstly, shut up. at times i really do feel weird (or awkward) speaking english. makes me feel like a tool.

For one, speaking english might signal a condescending tone to those who do not understand english. since i barely speak english in those situations, and the people i usually talk with english to do understand english and speak them fluently.

well i have my reasons.

1. i might not be in the mood. that means, since my awkwardness is that big, everything i say might sound wrong in my ears. like for example: pronouncing good. sometimes when awkward i might do it with a long "u" sound.

2. tongue twisted. oh yes, we all have those moments. but i absolutely detest unable saying something clearly. the mumble would sound as if i have a giant squid in my mouth ready to burst. nah, not that bad, but still, it's a major drawback to my self-esteem or ease speaking english.

3. wtfgrammar. during conversations, you just say whatever comes off the back of the mind. thus, all my sentences may not have been grammar-proofed as i sometimes do my posts. so whenever a fairly noticeable grammar mistake goes off my mouth, i feel more and more awkward.

4. wtf r u talkin bout. its either a) have no idea what to say or b) have no idea what they're talking about. sure, normal situation, but given the awkwardness that would probably worsen my english.

there may be more, but i'm really literally having a headache right now. lack of sleep right there, ladies and gentlemen. anyways, the thing that hold me back the most sometimes is that sometimes the pronounciation sounds wrong in my eardrums, even though the sound came off my throat/mouth, which holds me back even more.

so all these english problems are not as blown as they are told here, yet there are not blown to proportion. i'm trying to handle speaking english casually now, and im trying to get comfy with it. thanks to: vina, susan, chu. i do still prefer indo though >_>.

also, dont slam me with those "BUT U HV AXENT HOW COEM UR NT CNFIDENT LMAO". I got my accent from about 1 or 2 years of Britishly British football commentary on ESPN. and also some movies off HBO and cinemax. im happy to have gained the accent though, i like them accents.

so thats my 2 cents. do share: okay with speaking english or not? what else do you think? comments? gogogo share nao!