Since Chu told me to write a story, here goes.

I isolate myself in deep thoughts. Swarms of opinions of matters and facts of it. Abstract faces appearing in the darkness, faintly yet visible. I am not sure what this is, but everything seems dark. I see opened books, and from the books it was as if words fly out of the papers and went straight into my eyes. I see everything in the books. In those words there are emotions. Emotions that make you feel delighted. Emotions that make you feel melancholic. Emotions that make you feel hopeless. Emotions that give you hope.

They are terrifying. If indeed some emotions give you joyous views on life and what not, they really make you feel as if you are the happiest and luckiest man on earth. If indeed the emotions give you tears and sadness, they make you feel as if you are the only man on earth, and you are struck with disasters all the time.

It is like a drug. You cannot stop them from giving you those emotions, yet you cannot live without them. It is like a crippling trait, yet it is part of what makes you human. Go scream out, "Life is unfair," because no one will hear you. Go yell and scream profanities at life. No one will care enough to even argue about the nature of life.

I feel coldness. The sky is breaking. The emotions are engulfing me, like shadows coming out of the night. Everything is chthonic now. Nothing is moving. Yet these invisible sepulchral fiends bite at me. They gnaw on you. They slowly eat you apart.

I refuse to be beaten. However much they are enervating, I know I will persevere. I saw a man standing behind those books. Faintly, but surely I know it is a man. The man does not seem to harbour any malice. I swore he even reached out to me. Yet I did not take that hand. I did not. I do not know what these words from books are for. Are they to torture me? Are they simply a catharsis of a broken man? They seem gloomy, but I know for one that I will get through this. I will be stronger. I will not fall to these harrowing sorrow. I will persevere.

I am undergoing a metanoia. Indeed it is a rude awakening. I hope in the future though, that I shall be able to take that man's hands, and let him guide me through what life has to give at me. He shall lift my spirits up. I know it. So I stand here hopeful that I will have the peace of mind to take his offer. I know I am a panglossian person, but I am confident his guidance will get me through everything. Je t'aime jusqu'au bout.